The Mustache

I have recently pondered the fact that only male humans are able to grow facial hair. It seems that back in the day facial hair most likely was there to keep our faces warm. Well, at least to keep the men's faces warm. Apparently the women were protected by the infants they held to their faces to keep them warm, so no need for female mustaches I suppose.

Anyway, as the story goes Amanda and I were out shopping at Best Buy. Previously that day she had presented me with a wonderful clip-on mustache with malleable abilities. My high school friends had long ago decided that mustaches and mustache related gifts were perfect for me. This trend has sustained itself until present day. Regardless, as we were exiting Best Buy, we just so happened to come across a vending machine that included a variety of peel-off sticky facial hair arrangements. The possibilities included side burns, mustaches and beards. Mustaches. Oh my, this is an opportunity that cannot be surpassed, we thought to ourselves.

Now, I must explain to you the further significance of the discovery of mustache number 2 (aka bigote numero dos). You see, the original mustache of the weekend was a malleable, realistic mustache given to me by Amanda. I showed it to Mr. Peterson upon receipt and he did not like it. In fact, his dislike of said mustache was so strong, he grasped it by it's furry little self and flung it across the room. Apparently I am not supposed to have a mustache. This is an unfortunate part of the story as I quite liked my mustache. It was very expressive, kept my face warm and provided a wonderful disguise. Well, let's let you be the judge:

Here is a photograph of me and my mustache along with Mr. Peterson cringing away from me at the mere sight.

This dislike was completely unacceptable and exposure was the only option for a cure. Now you may see the significance of mustache number two. So Amanda and I had a plan. We waited for Mr. Peterson to arrive after work. We had pre-positioned the Best Buy mustache covertly UNDER the original mustache in order to provide extra mustache exposure. Mr. Peterson would be expected to remove the first mustache from my face only to reveal the second mustache underneath. Aha! What a plan!

In this photograph I model the second mustache. It is still in its plastic wrapping as we needed to preserve maximum stickiness for the exposure.

As the story continues, Mr. Peterson did return from work. He was welcomed by two giggling girls and a video camera. Armed with the excuse of changing the laundry, Amanda and I secretly applied both mustaches onto my face. We returned to the living room to show Mr. Peterson. As predicted, he promptly flung the first mustache across the room and was immediately surprised by the second one that appeared underneath. Despite his tiredness, he did very much appreciate the humor of it all and then flung the second mustache across the room after the first. Later that night, he retrieved them both and hid them in a secret location. One day I will find them and the plot will continue...

Until next time!
~Out!